Illustration Friday Topic: Canned!!!

Whoever would have guessed that this angelic-looking little girl was headed for a life of crime at such a tender young age? Despite her protestations that "the door was wide-open" and she was just looking for protection from the deep, dark forest, authorities quickly saw the holes in her story. Goldilocks's DNA on all three of those porridge bowls is what finally convicted her. Even after all these years in the can, Goldilocks shows no remorse. Prison officials report that she cries loudly in her cell, claiming she is suffering mental distress because the beds are too hard.